Queersplaining

I used to be that annoying asshole on the internet that was smugly above setting new year’s resolutions. Pish posh I said, time is arbitrary. If you want to make a change, just make it now! Why do we need some silly made up time to do it? But we have to acknowledge that human psychology works in certain ways, right? Most of us humans are pattern seeking creatures. We like ritual and meaning and patterns. What would happen if I leaned into that a little bit? What might I accomplish? The worst possible outcome was being another person who makes all kinds of promises to myself at the beginning of the year, then forgets them right? I’d be a little bummed, but like that’s not exactly a devastating outcome? With so little to lose and so much to possibly gain, I said fuck it. I made some promises to myself at the end of 2017.

I was mostly recovered from my bottom surgery, I was secure in my day job. I was getting ready to get married to the love of my life. I’d spent the last few years of my life between podcasting, speaking engagements, spending time with Celes, and my day job. I needed to set aside some time to do things that were just for me, just for my own enjoyment and fulfillment. Its not that podcasting and public speaking and all that aren’t fun or fulfilling, but they are definitely work. I wanted some things that didn’t feel like work. That’s part of what led me to Roller Derby. Its also why I started doing more Star Trek things. I spent some time learning Klingon, made it to a few cons, and even got to hang out and start friendships with some Star Trek actors. I had one on the show a few months ago.

Recognizing my privilege of course. I have an upper middle class income, lots of family support, and so on. So I’m in a position to do things a lot of folks might not have access to. So I don’t want to turn this into some cheesy “if I can do it, anyone can!” thing. But I did set goals for myself. And keeping them in sight while relying on the people I love for support has brought me some amazing things in 2018. So that’s what this episode is going to be about. Last week, I put out a call for people to leave me messages talking about what they went through in 2018, and what their hopes and fears are for 2019, and y’all fucking delivered. Some real life shit went down in 2018 for you, and I’m absolutely honored that so many of you chose to share your lives with me.

And I’ll say here that I’ve got some pretty cool stuff in store for 2019. There are some big changes coming for me. I’m gonna talk about those at the end of the show. But for now I want to share your stories. Let’s hear about 2018, and before we do, some of the stories I’m sharing here reference suicide, addiction,

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This time of year, we hear lots of stories about the Salvation Army’s relationship to the queer and trans community. Spoiler alert: they’re not usually feel good stories. This week we’ll hear from a few folks who have stories of their own.